


Good Intentions

by HanginWithLilJ (FlyDizzeeD)



Series: Learning to Cope [18]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Jeremy Dooley, Autistic Ryan Haywood, Gen, Geoff thinks he's helping, Misunderstandings, Non-Sexual Age Play, Ryan chews him out, Stimming, Very Light Blood, unintentional self-harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 05:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20286517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyDizzeeD/pseuds/HanginWithLilJ
Summary: Jeremy stims by chewing his fingers. Geoff kinda hates it. Ryan is the only one capable of communication here, apparently.





	Good Intentions

There's a soft crinkle and a sigh as Geoff throws the band-aid wrapper in the kitchen trash can. The room is mostly dark save for the small bulb over the stove providing just enough light for Jeremy to be visible where he sits on the counter (in spite of Geoff's many years of pleading for people to not do that very thing).

"There ya go, bud." Geoff says as he lightly smoothes over the new band-aid wrapped around Jeremy's left index finger. "Good as new."

"Thank you. Bed now?"

He can't help a slight chuckle at the younger's groggy voice, rough from being awoken. His hands find Jeremy's hips to help hold him steady as he slides off the counter. Tired legs stumble some and have Geoff supporting his sleepy boy out of the kitchen. They barely make it upstairs, and they certainly don't make it without plenty of whining. It's a relief for both of them when they curl up in bed, Geoff giving in to Jeremy's request to sleep with him and Jack tonight. Strong arms immediately pull Jeremy in while Jack mumbles in his sleep.

It leaves Geoff staring at the ceiling, thinking way too much, and not quite knowing what to do.

This is far from the first time he's had to bandage Jeremy's fingers because of how much he bites them. Part of him is kind of tired of being woken up in the middle of the night because the younger man's made himself bleed again. It's stressful for everyone involved. Not to mention the serious question of how much gross stuff Jeremy's sticking in his mouth on the daily. He's usually pretty good about fighting the urge while at work, but things become a free for all as soon as they get home, whether it's big Jeremy or little Jeremy for the night. The only difference between the two is little Jeremy also sucks his thumb. While Geoff still questions the cleanliness, he prefers it over the constant chewing.

A gentle hand loosely connecting with his arm pulls him from his thoughts. He looks to Jeremy, who's already fast asleep, holding onto him seemingly out of instinct. Tonight's been long enough. Sweeping aside his worries for some other restless time, Geoff closes his eyes, relaxes, and hunts for sleep.

\---

"Fucking Christ."

It's not the swearing that really catches Geoff's attention. They're at work so that's just normal shit. What gets him is the question that follows.

"Where'd we put the first aid kit?"

"Probably behind the couch." Trevor says, not looking up from his computer. "Bleeding out, Lil J?"

"Yep. Might not recover from this one. Matt gets the cats in my will."

Geoff doesn't mind cutting through the jokes. He peeks over his monitors and immediately notices the way Jeremy is avoiding using one of his hands while he searches for the elusive first aid kit.

"What happened, Jer?"

He already knows. Of course he knows. And his voice is light. Genuinely curious, because sounding all accusatory isn't gonna help this right now. 

"Bit through again." Jeremy admits, chuckling to lessen things. He finally gets the small red kit open and Geoff can barely see the way he's struggling to unwrap the bandage. Wordlessly, he slides back from his desk, stands with a back-popping stretch, and strolls over. The rest of the room isn't paying attention. They've finished recording for the day, a few of them having already headed home, so it's a lax final while before they actually clear out.

Geoff frowns at how Jeremy's uselessly attempting to open the band-aid still. With a quiet "here, bud" he takes the bandage away, peels it open, and so familiarly wraps it around his partner's slightly bloody pinky.

"Thanks, Geoff."

His voice is quiet. Embarrassed. The rest of the room is largely ignoring them, but still Jeremy is clearly worried he's being stared at. It's an issue he's talked about before. Geoff leans down and gently takes hold of Jeremy's jaw, turning his carpet-set gaze up towards him so he can give him a soft kiss. A small smile returns to Jeremy's face, so he counts it as a win.

But Geoff still can't help but feel a bit frustrated when he catches one last glimpse of that bandaged finger as he heads back to his desk. He hates the germs-- hates seeing Jeremy in pain from it, too.

So he makes what some might say is a bad call.

The chatter around the dinner table is never a muted, reasonable tone in the Ramsey household. It's loud, filled with laughter and curses, and utterly _them._ Familial, because that's what they are. And tonight they've broken out the table extension and pulled up some extra seating, because it's really the whole gang. Geoff sets the last bowl on the table-mashed potatoes-and takes his seat at the head of the table, Jack at his right, who's hand he immediately finds in spite of the bearded man being preoccupied by chatting it up with Lindsay. Their knuckles brush together for a moment before Geoff actually begins to fill his plate.

Surprisingly, there's still some left for him. They're a ravenous bunch. A chair scoots across the tile floor just a bit and a head finds Geoff's shoulder, resting there. Without hesitation, Geoff uses his free hand to smooth over Jeremy's curly hair, drawing a content sigh from the younger man.

"This is too damn good, Geoff." Michael says, well, _slurs_, around a mouthful of meatloaf. Gavin shouts at him about manners, shoves him a bit, gags when the Jersey lad opens his mouth the rest of the way to show him the chewed food.

Geoff just rolls his eyes. "Thanks, Michael. Gavin, please don't throw up in the green beans."

A light tug on his sleeve draws his attention back to Jeremy. His food is mostly untouched, but that's not a huge surprise to Geoff. Ryan isn't here. He's usually the only one that can get the self-conscious man to actually eat these days, big or small, but he's busy doing his refresher courses with the place that trained Benjamin. Still, Geoff figures he can give it a go. Judging by the way Jeremy is scooting his plate towards him, the boy feels comfortable enough with this group to let someone else feed him. Somewhat surprising, since Fiona is still so new to them.

(But she isn't new to _this_. This thing they do. "An ex of mine," she'd said, after they'd had no choice but to explain the Ryan incident, "used to do it for stress relief." And she'd smiled, and she'd accepted them, and in turn they accepted her wholeheartedly.)

So Geoff sets to it, switching between feeding himself and the Boston boy settled against his side. It's a relaxing sort of repetition. The talk of the table seems to be focused around Alfredo's determination to make them halfway decent at Siege. It doesn't take long for Geoff to finish feeding both himself and Jeremy, and he's immediately caught in the conversation after. It's a few minutes before he checks on Jeremy again.

It's at that point that he makes a decision.

Without saying anything to the boy, he casually reaches up and pulls Jeremy's thumb out of his mouth so he can hold his hand on the table. He can see the briefly confused look on Jeremy's face, but he just returns to the conversation instead of responding. This is for the best. No more bloody fingers. So when Jeremy's other hand starts the venture towards his mouth a few minutes later, Geoff gently swipes that one down, too.

\---

Things get stricter from there.

Geoff starts to consistently remove Jeremy's fingers from his mouth every time he catches it. He never says a word about it, and Jeremy doesn't either. The man simply blushes and accepts the seeming correction, winding his fingers into his shirt instead, pulling and twisting the fabric. The amount of bandaids used in their office and home dramatically decrease, so Geoff is counting this one as a win. He doesn't bother to mention it to the others.

It's only a few days before he notices Jeremy's fingers heading towards his mouth, suddenly stopping, and instead moving to scratch at his neck and wind into the collar of his shirt. Something about the aborted motion feels off to Geoff, but he mostly feels satisfied. Progress. In just a short time Jeremy is already fixing it himself. Geoff runs a gentle hand through his boy's hair and nearly coos at the way Jeremy eagerly presses into it. And as they settle into bed that night, Jeremy once again between him and Jack, having had trouble sleeping the past few nights without Ryan, Geoff can't help the rush of satisfaction he feels when he notices the lad isn't sucking his thumb.

His pleasant mood carries into the next morning in spite of being woken up by an enthusiastic Jeremy scrambling across him to get out of the bed.

"Ryan!"

Geoff wakes up the rest of the way at that and looks over to see Ryan nearly knocked to the floor by an armful of lad. Thankfully he stays standing and laughs, hugging the shorter man back and burying his face into that soft curly hair. The scene makes Geoff feel that hazy warmth inside that he's come to associate with his family. Jack's awake, too, and by the sounds of footsteps and laughter from elsewhere in the house, the rest of them are as well.

"Get over here and let us have some Ryan time before you're covered in children, Haywood." Geoff teases.

Ryan snorts and picks Jeremy up so he can carry him over and deposit him back on the bed before joining them. "Missed you guys." He mumbles as Geoff and Jack both cover him in light kisses, glad to have their missing third back. Ryan practically preens at the affection. Geoff gently holds his jaw so he can pull him into a deep, slow kiss, until they're interrupted by a gag from the doorway.

"Gross." Michael says, grinning in spite of himself. He's followed into the room by the rest of their crew, save for Matt, who's probably still with Fiona and Lindsay. Geoff leans back and watches as they all flock together. His eyes end up landing on Jeremy, eyes closed and still clinging tight to Ryan's chest, looking the most relaxed he's been in days. Including the thumb lodged in his mouth. Geoff sighs. Lets it go this one time. No sense in upsetting a good moment. Besides, with Ryan home, he's well aware they should expect to have a little Jer running around for at least the next day. Plenty of opportunities for Geoff to remind him of the new 'rule.'

\---

It takes exactly one hour for Ryan to realize something's up. Geoff knows he knows, because he frowns when Jeremy suddenly pulls his thumb out of his mouth like it burned him. And really, Geoff should tell him what's up, but some part of him is too nervous to say it. Worried that maybe he made a bad call. But it is what it is, at this point, so instead of re-evaluating and using good communication skills with his beloved partner, Geoff does the one thing he does best: He acts like he has absolutely no idea what's going on.

That tactic only works for a few more hours. Every time Ryan catches Jeremy cutting himself off from chewing his fingers or sucking his thumb, every time the boy nervously scratches at his neck or twists and pulls at his clothes instead, Geoff can _see_ the suspicion rising on Ryan's face. Damn his perceptive nature. For his part, Geoff is kinda refusing to acknowledge how guilty he suddenly feels. Because there's nothing to feel guilty about. He helped. Jeremy hasn't bloodied his fingers in days now.

It's an exact sequence of events that forces him to admit his actions.

It starts with Geoff casually walking into the living room. Jeremy and Ryan are sat on the couch and practically glued together. The younger looks half asleep, barely paying attention to whatever bright and colorful show is on the TV, his thumb in his mouth as he relaxes against Ryan, who looks equally content. Ryan's actually the one who notices Geoff first, greets him in quiet tones. But all it takes is Jeremy hearing the name to snap to attention and spit his thumb out. The boy goes stock still and Geoff knows he's fucked.

Ryan looks between the two of them. He knows now, of course, and his gaze settles on Geoff himself. Geoff tries not to physically squirm under the other's calculating look. He tries to talk, but Ryan cuts him off before he can finish a syllable.

"So you're the reason he's too terrified to suck his thumb?"

"I…" Geoff pauses, freezes up, finally mumbles; "Yeah."

Humming, Ryan nods. Jeremy hasn't moved an inch and flinches when Ryan's hand smoothes over her his hair. It takes him a moment to relax into the touch. Geoff stays silent. Ryan speaks.

"Why?"

"He kept making himself bleed!" Geoff jumps to defend himself, voice shrill. "I just-- I didn't want to see him hurt anymore."

"What did you do?" Ryan's voice is calm. Geoff kinda hates it. Thinks he'd rather be yelled at.

"Pulled his hand away every time he tried."

And Ryan doesn't really respond to that one in words. He does look at Geoff like he's the biggest idiot in the world, though. With a sigh, Ryan stands up and quickly turns back to the couch, scooping Jeremy up and walking off without another word or even a glance at Geoff, who doesn't dare move from his spot. He fucked up, and he knows this conversation isn't over.

Sure enough, Ryan returns without his boy just a few minutes later. Geoff only now notices how quiet the house is. Jack and Michael are at the grocery store, but that still leaves Gavin, Trevor, and Alfredo somewhere in the house. Probably too nervous to come downstairs at this point. Fuck.

"Trevor's gonna watch Jeremy for now." Ryan explains. "He doesn't need to be in the middle of this."

"Ryan, I'm--"

"An idiot? Yeah. Christ, Geoff, did you really think this was a good idea?"

"I didn't think it was a _bad_ idea."

Another sigh. Ryan runs a hand through his hair, messing it up some, and pulls at his ear briefly.

"He can't help it, y'know. He's stimming. And I get that you don't really understand it. I don't understand it sometimes and I do it all the time. But you can't just--" Ryan is clearly searching for words, which isn't easy for him. "He doesn't feel like you're upset about the stimming. He thinks you're mad at _him_. We don't always get things like that, Geoff. You know that."

He does. _'Be direct.'_ The phrase Jeremy and Ryan say to the rest of them so much. Geoff knows that the two of them sometimes feel like they're alone because they can't always click with the rest of the group. He knows Jeremy struggles more than any of them to understand tone or implications. He knows these things. And he also knows what a huge asshole he's been.

"Fuck. I just kind of assumed he'd like not having bit up hands. And that he'd tell me if something was wrong." As soon as he says it he knows how stupid it sounds. Ryan's deadpan look agrees.

"You thought Jeremy Dooley would tell you if you were upsetting him?"

"It sounds really fuckin' dumb when I hear it out loud, actually."

"That's because it's really fuckin' dumb. Listen, Geoff. You're not a piece of shit. You're not actually an idiot. And you haven't irreparably damaged anything." And there goes Ryan with the ability to read his mind. "You just did something stupid. But you know it was stupid. So we need to make it not stupid."

Geoff would really like to do something not stupid for once, actually. "How?"

Ryan holds up a finger to tell him to wait before disappearing to the kitchen. Once more Geoff takes in how quiet it is. He hates it. His house isn't supposed to be this quiet. Then again, he's also not supposed to be a jerk to the people he loves. When Ryan returns, he's got something in his hand. Geoff is about to ask when the younger man takes his hand and switches the item off, a lazy smirk on his face. When Geoff opens his hand up to look at what's in his palm, he feels infinitely more stupid.

"How did I not remember this?" He asks, turning the light green pacifier over in his palm.

"To be fair, he stopped using them after his went missing. That's Alfredo's. It also only solves the problem when he's small."

"What about when he's not?" Geoff notices Ryan already has his phone out. Speedy son of a bitch. The screen is eventually turned to face him and he sees what looks like a purple gem. Ryan fills him in before he can ask.

"It's made of silicone for chewing. You can wear it like a necklace. Y'know, you could've just used your communication skills." He teases, lightly elbowing Geoff. It's enough for Geoff to at least be more sure Ryan doesn't hate his guts, at least.

"Can they make custom ones?" Geoff asks, looking over the webpage. He relaxes further at Ryan's chuckle.

"We can see later. Right now there's a whole group of boys huddling together like penguins upstairs. One of which deserves a very heartfelt apology."

Geoff nods. Before they head upstairs, Ryan catches his wrist and pulls him close so he can kiss him like that morning. A warm feeling settles over him and carries him more confidently to the master bedroom where the four boys are hiding out. Ryan opens the door and slides into the dark room first, closely followed by Geoff. His heart breaks at the sight in front of them. Gavin and Alfredo seem to have taken to playing something on the Switch to distract themselves, but Trevor is occupied by the crying lad on his lap. Jeremy doesn't appear to be all out sobbing, at least, but his chest is shuddering through breaths and his face is streaked with tears. Ryan quickly sits next to them and attempts to help Trevor talk the boy down. Geoff is briefly frozen at the door before he takes a deep breath and joins them.

"Hey, Jer." He talks quietly, and the others stop talking so he can speak. Jeremy watches him, damn near shaking. Geoff continues.

"I'm sorry I kept you from stimming. I thought I was helping you, but I think I was just helping myself. Seeing you hurt freaked me out."

He pauses so Jeremy can process the words. Trevor's grip around him is tight. Protective. Protecting him from _Geoff._

"I, um. I'm not mad at you. I should've said that a while ago. I know you can't help it. The blood upset me, not you, Jer-bear. You did nothing wrong. And I have--" He fumbles with the pacifier before holding it out. "A peace offering? I know it isn't yours, but we can get you a new one soon. I'm really sorry, Jeremy."

There's a stretch of silence, the only thing breaking it up a few sniffles from the slowly calming boy. Eventually, Jeremy reaches out a hesitant hand and takes the pacifier. He rubs his fingers over the edges and smooth surfaces before carefully putting it in his mouth. After a few moments, he pulls himself out of Trevor's lap and collapses into Geoff's arms. Geoff hugs him tight, pressing a kiss to the side of his head and damn near suction cupping himself to the boy as he breathes in the soft scent of his shampoo. For a moment he opens his eyes and immediately makes contact with Ryan. The man is smiling at the two of them. His gaze sweeps over to his other boys, who all look infinitely more at ease. 

Geoff vows to be more direct next time.


End file.
